Kita's Invasion
by Cathefrine
Summary: I [Kita] always wondered what it'd be like to pop into the world of Fruits Basket... My god becomes Akito, I get to huggle all the characters... Ah yesh, I could definitely live that way.
1. The Holy Maiden

**Kita's Invasion**

**Disclaimer: See dis? *points to tied up Fruits Basket characters* No matter how much I wanna own these puppies, it's not happening! Hehehe, so in conclusion, I don't own anything I don't own… which happens to be a lot.**

~*~

I walked near the house, marveling at the little figures on the sliding door. Animals! Hehehe. KAWAII!! I ran up on the porch to get a better look. There was a dog, and a cat, and a monkey, and a…

"Konichiwa!" A spunky, bright face bounced out onto the porch. Her brown hair was tied back in braids, a frilled apron tied around her waist. 

"Erm… uh… Hi!" I bowed a few times, backing up slowly.

Someone came from the back of the house, a gray robe wrapped around him.

"Shigure!" My eyes widened in admiration as the Japanese asked who was at the door. Secksayness for a man twice my age!

"Who is it, Tohru?" He stopped and smiled, realizing it was a high school girl. "Come in, come in. You must be one of Tohru's friends!" Shigure couldn't stop humming as he led Tohru and me towards the sitting area. 

"Wow! Amazing!" Of course, being my first time in Japan, I soaked in everything like a sponge.

"So, Tohru, who is your friend?" Shigure was staring at me pretty… uhh… weirdly. I didn't mind at all! Hehe, he has a secksay voice. (In the Japanese version, at least. I've never heard the dubbed version. *waits for Christmas*)

"Oh, um. Sorry! I'm so sorry! I don't know who this is! Should I go make some tea?" Tohru stood up to rush into the kitchen. 

Kyou came marching (there isn't really another way to put it) into the room. "Who was at the—" He cut short to stare at me. "It's another yankee!!" A thought of Uo haunted him for a minute. He began sweating.

"Um, hi! I'm…erm, that is to say… I'm the authoress of the story! Yup, that's me! I'm Kita, so being the authoress, I'm granted special powers (for the time in which people read my story!)" Hastily, I reached across the table, hugging Shigure tightly.

"Wh-wh-what?!?" Kyou was running towards us, ready to hide Shigure if he *happened* to transform under my suffocating hug.

Shigure started coughing loudly trying to gasp for air. I let go of the hug, only to attack Kyou with one. Hehe, it was their first time to hug a girl besides Kisa and Kagura.

And almost as instantly as I had jinxed myself, Kagura came running in, punching Kyou through the sliding door which I had been admiring only minutes before.

Yuki, rubbing his eyes, came tramping into the room. It was still early in the morning, so of course the prince was still half way asleep. ^_^

"YUUUKIII!" I ran towards him, giving him a mango hug. Alright, so I'm a hug whore. Who cares! This was a house hold of guys, totally virgins to hugs. I must experiment! Bwuhahahahaha!! Ahem, on with the story.. -_-;

"Huh? Kagura?" he assumed since a girl had obviously SHRIEKED out his name, tackled him to the floor and was hugging the bejesus out of him. "What are you—huh?!" Yuki tried to crawl backwards out of my clasp. Silly boy, there was no way I was gonna let go of these people any time soon!

"It uhh… seems that umm… hmm… this girl can hug us." Shigure was dumfounded, needless to say. Hahaha yesh, I am the Holy Maiden who can hug all Sohma family members! Bow down and worship my greatness, Tohru!!

"That's just because she's really a guy." Kyou took the edge of my skirt and lifted it to see what might be hiding under there.

"Pervert!" I smacked him down with my fist. No matter how irresistible he is, a perv is a perv. Hmph. "How dare you question my femininity!!" I stood up, towering over his body which lay on the floor, clenching my fists.

Tohru came back, a tray of tea in hands. "Oh good, Yuki, you're awake!" She said brightly, an oh-too-cheery smile on.

"Thanks!" I exclaimed, taking up the cup in my hands. Mmm, smelled good! I let the steam rise to my nostrils before taking any in. This was gonna be the first thing to consume anything during my stay with the Sohma's. Now… to think of a valid excuse to stay…

I began drumming my fingers nervously against the cup. Hah, there was no way they were going to turn me loose in some big scary forest outside their house. There ARE molesters out there, ya know!?!?

"Where are you staying, Kita?" Shigure's voice broke the uneasy silence between us all.

"No where!" I said a bit too loud. Ah hahah… they'll accept me… I just know they will… right??

"Would you like to stay here?" Tohru asked, as if she were glad. Hah! Glad she'd have to share all the secksay men with me…  She's crazy!! Oh well! Doesn't hurt me AT ALL!

"Are you sure it's alright?"

"Yes! There's more than enough room to share in my bedroom. You can help me cook and clean and—"

"Sounds fine with me!" Shigure was smiling brightly, more than likely amusing thoughts going through his head about where this was leading to. 

"Stop being a pervert, old man!" Kyou shouted, slamming his fists against the table. 

Yuki had toppled over on the ground and fallen asleep. Kawaii!! ^_^

"Oh, do you have something against Kita staying with us?" Shigure's face suddenly went stern, glaring at Kyou. *glare glare glare* O_O

"Of course not!" Kyou slammed a fist against the table again. "I'm leaving." He ran out of the house, past Kagura (who was mending the sliding door she had shoved Kyou through)

Hmm, it wasn't really my fault that Kyou's acting all embarrassed, but still… "I'm sorry."

"Ah hahahaha, don't be!" Shigure stood up, headed towards his room. "You and Tohru can find something to do while I'm busy, ne? My editor's supposed to be arriving soon."

"Are you actually going to give her the work?" Yuki groaned from the floor.

"Oh ho ho. We'll see," Shigure giggled while making his way to his office.

"Ah, well," Tohru began cleaning up the empty tea mugs. Damn, she's efficient. "I'm going to show Kita around our room. So please excuse us, Yuki!"

"Uh, alright, I'm going to the secret base." Yuki left the house, his hair still disheveled from the early morning.

Kinda grateful for Tohru bringing up the idea of my stay, I helped her clean the dishes. 

"What grade are you in?" Tohru was trying to make small chat… how neighborly!

"I'm a sophomore. Just a year younger than you!"

"Oh! So you will be in class with Haru and Momiji! How exciting!"

Ooooh yeah! That's right! I hadn't thought of those advantages… hehehe…

Well, we were done pretty quickly with the mugs. Kagura had left, leaving the sliding door perfect with its scotch tape bandages. 

I skipped happily to the new room I would be sharing with Tohru. *frolic frolic*

*sigh* Of course, I'd have to sleep on the floor tonight. Ah, but no worries! When I wake up, it will be to three secksayful men! Woohoo!

Heh, one other thing I forgot besides a place to sleep. The entire lack of clothes. With the power of the authoress, I made a suitcase appear outside where I had *accidently* left it. ^_^

"Wah! Life is great!" I sautéed outside where I decided to 'explore'. Or rather, hunt for Yuki and his base. 

"Kamakamakama ask your mama, super groover mama Dali—" My muttered singing was broken from victory!!! I spotted Yuki gardening only a few feet away. Slowly, like the Crocodile Hunter finally spotting the featured animal, I crept behind him, observing him.

He was wearing the white Chinese style shirt. Consequently, I was the one to be worrying if he got it dirty or not. That shirt looks so cool… -_-;

Of course I couldn't just waltz to his base, but had to be accepted to it. Even if I AM the authoress, I'm-a respect the characters. 

So I just went along walking around the place as if I didn't notice the thing. Nope, not me… noo sirree… 

"Kita, is that you?"

FINALLY HE NOTICED ME!!

"Eh?" I asked the air. Hehehe, I am so clever. "Did somebody say something?"

Yuki dropped the hand shovel and walked towards where I was.

"Ah, Yuki! What are you doing out here?" Yeah, that's right… just keep acting oblivious to the world. 

"I'm gardening, would you like to help?" He tossed me one of those miniature hand rake thingies. I ran it through the soil slowly. Through the little ditches, Yuki placed seeds equally apart. We both patted the soil down.

A curl of brown hair… *stops the story for a second* Oh yeah, you might wanna know a little more about what I look like before we go on, ne?

Random Reader: NO!

Oh well! Anyshoe, I have brunette (I have a thing for calling it chocolate color. Mm… chocolate!! @_@) hair going about… erm… about four inches past my shoulders. I have reeeally dark brown eyes, so it's kind of hard to see my pupils. O.O Ah, what else… I'm pretty thin, about five feet and six inches. Hahaha, the wonderful world of me.

On with story now. ^_^

 A curl of brown hair fell across my face. Stupid curly hair, always disobeying my orders. I said back in a braid! Back I say!

Yuki took off his gardening gloves and brushed it behind my ear for me, seeing that my hands were only caked with dirt.

"Thanks," was my mild reply. Yeah, I'm real articulate, eh? 

"Is there a reason you were traveling near our house?" Yuki was sliding the other glove off his hand, getting ready to retreat back to the house.

Meh. Stupid curiosity. Kids these days, asking pointless questions! It's not like I'm a stalker or anything… o_O "Secret," I answered simpily… Hahaha, yes, I am a woman of mystery. Bow to my mysterious inner being!!

"Should we go then? Tohru will need this for cooking lunch." Yuki held up two baskets chocked full of his veggies and fruits.

"Okeedokee! Here, I'll help carry something." 

Yuki handed me the smaller basket, of course, full of strawberries. I could smell their sweetness. Mmm… suddenly a craving hit me like a sale on Thanksgiving Day. Must… resist… temptation…

"Would you like one?" Yuki held up the small, red strawberry to my face. Eagerly I accepted, popping it into my mouth. Ah, the sweet juices of summer.

I helped Tohru cook lunch, although I had no idea what the hell was going on. 

"So, what are you four planning to do for the rest of the day?" Shigure sat their, twirling a chopstick between his fingers. The arrival of his editor was due aaaany second now. Hehehe… evil Shigure ^_^

"Yuki and I were going to grocery shopping after lunch," Tohru explained. She eyed me carefully, trying to decide if I should be invited or not.

"Kyou, what are you doing today?" Shigure asked, putting the spot light on him.

"I'm busy." He crossed his arms and stared at the edge of the table.

"With what?" Shigure had stopped twirling the chopstick mindlessly. 

"Nothing," Kyou grumbled in response. Yay! Maybe I had this chance to hug with him all I wanted!! ^_^

"Maybe it would be nice if you invited Kita to walk with you. She should become familiar with the place so she stays safer."

"She can go by herself."

"Baka neko!" Yuki exclaimed, rising from his dining position. "She can't go by herself!"

"Well, well. Yuki's right. There are molesters out there." Shigure took a slow sip from his glass.

"Fine!! I'll go!" He dragged me up by the wrist and pulled me outside.

"So…umm… How are you doing?" Hah, yeah, I'm smooth as ice, baby!

All I got was a stare. How cold! 

"Umm… I'm sorry."

*sigh* "No, it's okay." We walked a few more paces. "I'm fine."

Hah! See now, that wasn't too hard to do! Now, maybe I could think of another question— oh, but it will be hard to defeat the ever-popular "How are you?"!! Will I manage to create a better question??

"How long do you think you'll be staying?"

Whoa, that caught me off guard. Hmm… how long WAS I gonna stay? I guess until I finally finish this story. But considering how I'm enjoying writing this at the moment, it could last forever! Muhahaha.

"Probably a very long time." *smile* Hah, I am so cool.

Ahh! He almost smiled! Maybe he was smiling at me! Or was that a smirk? Oh no! What if he thought I was acting stupid! 

"Are you alright?" Kyou had to stop and turn around.

He had to stop? Oh… Oh no! I had stopped walking while thinking about my humiliation! This just adds on more! When had I stopped walking?!?

"Yeah, fine. It's nothing!" I ran ahead, almost as if daring him to follow me.

We ran back to the house. It was a race to touch the sliding door first... And of course he won. I came slowly behind, heaving my chest for air. Kyou looked smug for a while, basking in his victory with a fit smirk, but after a while of my heavy breathing, his facial expressions changed.

"Hey! Stop that! Are you alright?" Kyou came to my side, almost afraid to touch me.

"EEeeeeehhh…" Hah, I had finished taking in a breath! Go me! "…..Yeeeesssssss…" X_X Stupid sports induced asthma. 

He picked me up (yesh, he was still quite amazed he could do that!) and carried me into the house. After propping me against the table, he went into the kitchen and came back with a glass of water.

Whatta sweetie! I gladly took it, chugging it down. Slowly I allowed it to soothe me. Again I curse asthma.

"Next time be careful, I might not be there to help!" Kyou drawled out in a kinda growl/screaming bit. Hehehe… I feel so loved and it's only 4 o'clock!!

"Yes!" I nodded my head sharply and took another drink… very slowly and watching Kyou over the brim. Such a sweetie…! "Well, we still have a while until dinner time, what do you like to do?"

"Nothing you would like." Yawning, Kyou stood up and stretched his arms. Hehehe, so cat like!!

Before I could protest, there was a figure slowly making its way to the sliding door.

~*~

Kita: Soo, this was the first attempt at a fanfic! I'd hope any readers that hated/enjoyed/got confused/thought someone was out of character would review and tell me. *whistles innocently* (There's a chocolate cake in it for ya…) Hehehe, I lub these people so much! *grabs Shigure, Kyou and Yuki into a tight hug* Bwahahaha…

Yuki: Let… us… go! *ish trying to escape my wrath*

Kita: But, but, but the public loves ya! See? *points at fangirl madness*

Kyou: Get me away from this rat! *ish squished up next to Yuki in the hug* 

Yuki: Baka neko! She's insane! She's not letting us go any time soon!

Shigure: Ara, ara. Calm down and enjoy yourselves. ^_^

Kyou & Yuki: Shut up perverted old man!!!

Kita: Such lovable creatures!!! *snuggles*


	2. Bad DNA

Before I start the story, I'd just like to say that I did some research on the Fruits Basket manga (since it's coming out February of 2004 in North America ^_^) And found out the two Juunishi characters left out of the anime *are* introduced in the manga. Soo, I will hopefully read the manga and add those characters *eventually* (Since the manga will be coming out bimonthly, it might take me a while to actually read about them)

**Kita's Invasion**

**Disclaimer: Although I'm in utter love with these folks, I don't own them. Hmm, I don't own much, really. Just a lap top, some paper, a tube of Neosporin… Yup, that's about it. So, while I hope you enjoy my story, I don't own anything I don't own… That pretty much sums it up.**

~*~

"Where is Shigure?!?" His publisher stood their pathetically, tears running down her face. "His work was due three days ago!!"

Kyou and I just kind of ignored her… poor lady. I hope she doesn't commit suicide. She's always got that kinda look, ya know? Ah well, she'll get the work sooner or later.

"What do you mean I wouldn't like anything you like to do?!" Oh yeah, I got a talent for speech alright. And look at those debating skills!

"What I mean is you wouldn't find any interest in fighting!" Kyou threw himself back on the ground, crossing his arms. Hah, like I wouldn't enjoy fighting… It's all about the Jackie Chan!!! *inserts DVD and listens while typing* 

"You don't know that! Maybe I *do* like it!! Hmph, give people a chance before singling them out!" Hah, I showed him!

"I…umm…" 

Hah, I made Kyou speechless! I stood up, moving my hands in front of me and wobbling around on my feet like Jackie Chan in *Legend of the Drunken Master*. 

"Stop that, you look like an idiot!" Kyou grabbed my wrists so I would stop moving. All that acting drunk made me dizzy. I fell forward into Kyou's chest. Hehehe, I'm so sly.

Kyou opened his arms out as far as they could go, getting as far away from a hug as possible. 

"Drunken… boxing…" I muttered into his chest. Blah, getting dizzy is the worst. 

"What the hell are you talking about?" Kyou took my shoulders and pulled me away from him. 

"Oh… it's nothing!" I guess I've watched too many movies! Ah hahaha… I smiled and stepped away. "You know what? The president of Iceland eats fish every day."

"Uhh…"

"I just thought I'd say something to break the ice!" ^_^ *sigh* I turned around and paced around the room.

Kyou plopped back on the ground and turned on the TV.

Being the authoress, and having special powers, I was able to understand Japanese. (Duh, that's how I communicated with the Sohmas!) On the screen was anime waiting to be devoured by me.

"EEEEK!!" I sat happily next to Kyou, staring at the screen.

Oh no! I fell asleep! Slowly I opened my eyes to see the ceiling. I missed all that wonderful anime!! As I sat up, I realized I wasn't the only one taking a nap. Tohru and Yuki had come back and were fast asleep next to me. Alongside Tohru were Uo and Hana, cuddling up to Tohru as if she were a teddy bear. On my other side was… Shigure?!? What happened to Kyou?? Frantically I searched the room to see him lying at my feet.

I hopped into the kitchen (literally) and began throwing together an Americanized meal. Ah, the splendid joy of Macaroni 'n Cheese and hot dogs! I put together the quick… rather unhealthy… meal together and placed it on the table. "Rise and shine, it's time for dinner!" I chanted happily, bending over Shigure.

He reached out and grabbed me, pulling me down on top of him. 

"Wah! Let go!" What the hell was I complaining about? Shigure was cuddling up to me, still half way asleep. Woo buddy was I in heaven or what! But still, a girl's gotta act modest. "Lecher!" 

"Huh?" O_O Yuki woke up, eyes threatening to pop out of socket. He stood up and kicked the top of Shigure's head. "Let go of her, old man."

"Ow ow ow. Who are you calling an old man?" Shigure opened his eyes, still clinging to me. He was suffocating me against his chest, a sure way to die in bliss. ^_^

"What's this?" Kyou was standing over the table, staring down at the food. "It doesn't look edible." He grabbed one of the hot dog wieners and flopped it around in his hands. "Are we supposed to *eat* this?" T_T

"Ah, yes, it's food from my country!" I mumbled into Shigure's shoulder.

It seemed like he had just noticed me squashed against him like that. "Ooh, Kita, I didn't realize you felt that way!" ^_^ He loosened his hold on me and allowed me to stand up. Hana was staring at us weirdly. 

"Who is this?" The little lock of hair straightened at the top of her head, and I could tell she was researching my aura. Hmm… I wonder what it looks like…

"Hey, what's going on? Is it time to eat yet?" Uo was waking up along with Tohru. 

"I'm sorry! I haven't cooked yet! Let me go do that this instant—"

"Calm down, Tohru, Kita already served dinner," Yuki calmly pointed out. Everyone sat at the table, looking at the food as if it were mold. (Except for me and Uo. Mmm, I love hot dogs and mac 'n cheese. Nummy!)

I was the first to take a bite of the hot dog, proving it wasn't poisonous. 

Kyou gloomily lifted a spoon full of macaroni and let it plop back down into the bowl. "Are you sure it's edible? It doesn't look any better than leeks."

"It's not green is it?!" Yuki scolded, taking a bite.

Uo grabbed Kyou's spoon, loaded it with macaroni, and shoved it in his mouth. "Chew, swallow, enjoy!"

Kyou's face turned red as he swallowed. Oh well, I guess this particular family didn't enjoy my *exotic* tastes.

I cleaned the dishes, letting Tohru head off to work with Uo and Hana accompanying her.

"We will see you at school tomorrow," Hana said with her farewell. "Have a safe evening."

"Yeah, take care!" Uo gave a big smile and walked out the door, laughing at something Hana said.

Shigure had left the room, leaving Yuki, Kyou and myself alone.  Woot!

"Shut up, rat! I'll challenge you right now!"

"Baka neko." (Hehe, he has some good come backs, ne?)

Kyou drew back his hand, ready to strike at Yuki. Yuki began to counter-act, bringing his arm towards Kyou.

"HEY!" I shouted, my arms crossed over my chest. I gave them that look… yeah, you know? The look nearly ever teacher, parent and babysitter has perfected. That look saying "stop it before I shove my shoe down your throat". 

Both stopped in their stances like statues, only moving their heads to stare at me in disbelief. 

"Didn't anyone teach you not to wrestle in the house? Holy Cheesus, you two act like three year old brats!" Okay, so I wasn't being the most sincere of all people, but po-lease. When two teenagers fight for no damn reason, it becomes tiring.

Unless they took off their shirts. Yeah, that'd make it a whole lot more interesting.

~*~

"Yes, she hugged all of us and nobody transformed," Shigure said into the phone, almost too seriously. "Should we tell Akito?"

"Akito can't stand for anything being kept secret from him. I'll tell him tonight. Tomorrow I plan to visit."

"Ooh, Tori, I'm so excited. Are you coming to see me?" ^_^ Shigure giggled into the phone.

~*~

The next morning, I was the first one to wake up. I arched my back and did my morning aerobics before showering and dressing into the uniform that had *magically* appeared in my suit case. ^_~

I combed through my wet hair and let it air dry. It wound itself into curly waves before the time I had reached the kitchen.

"Good morning!" Tohru exclaimed, tying the apron around her waist. 

"Good morning. Can I help you with anything?" I grabbed a pot and began boiling water.

"Ah, yes, help me with this, please." She placed a large vegetable in front of me and instructed me to chop.

Hehehe… big knife… o.O

Anyhoo, I did my duty then helped cook. (Although I had no clue how. It's one of those authoress power deals) The table was set and everyone ate.

The four of us, Kyou, Tohru, Yuki, and I set off for school after breakfast. I was *mysteriously* on the attendance record for the school. (Again with the authoress magic. Bwuhahaha.)

Far in front of us I saw a distinguishly white head in a school uniform. Beside it was a blonde, hopping up and down.  

"HAARUUU!!!" I jumped on his back and circled my arms around his neck. "Go into black mode, go into black mode!"

"Gah, who is--?"

"Wow!" Momiji stared at me in awe. "She's even cuter than Tohru!"

Okay, pause. There is no way in hell *I* am cuter than *Tohru*, but play along. -_-;

"Eh?" Haru peeled me off his back and set me in front of him. "Who are you?" He reached out his hands and started fondling my breasts.

"WAH! STOPPIT!" I smacked his head, putting my arms over me protectively.

"I was just checking to see if you were a girl! But… but… you're not a member of the Juunishi…" Haru looked over at Momiji, then to Yuki, Kyou and Tohru. "Have I missed something?"

Yuki pinched the bridge of his nose. "Obviously she has some sort of hormone problem if she can hug us freely like that. Perhaps something in her genes prevents her from transforming us."

"I do NOT have bad DNA!" I sauntered over to Yuki to glare at him.

Momiji bounced up to me and grabbed me in a hug. "Finally! Someone cute I'm allowed to hug!" 

"Kawaii! I feel so loved!!" I hugged Momiji back, smothering him against me. Hehe, it feels good to be the authoress!

"Momiji, let go. I'm sure she doesn't want you to hug her like that." Haru tried to take Momiji away from me. Noo! My Momiji! Bwuhaha, he will not escape me!

Uo and Hana came from behind, greeting everyone.

"What's wrong with her?" Uo asked, staring at me. I was still holding onto Momiji as Haru tried to take him away from me. Noo! Momiji!!!

"Wah, Haru let go of me!!" Momiji whined, holding on to me tighter.

Who the hell cares if he's a fruity boy my age! He's cute as all get out! ^_^

The small frustration helped Haru's anger grow. Finally he was Black Haru! Cheesus, how long did it take him!

"Momiji, GET OFF!" Haru literally tore him off of me, taking Momiji's place at my side. He wrapped an arm around my waist, drawing me closer to him.

Okay, there is a MAJOR difference between Momiji's cuteness and Haru's secksayness! ^_^

He tilted his head down and kissed me.

WHOA!!! HARU KISSED ME!!! AWESOMENESS SOARING THROUGH MY BODY!!

"BAKA!" Kyou's fist made contact with Haru's head, forcing him to step away from me. 

"What was that, Nekozuki?!" Haru stepped back, gritting his teeth. He lunged forward, ready to smack the bejesus out of Kyou.

Yuki intercepted the two, holding his hands in front of each of their faces. "Don't get expelled before first bell."

Reluctantly they let the fight go, realizing we should be heading to class. But before we entered, I stopped at the front doors, gazing up and proclaimed, "So this is Kaibara High. So cool!" I burst through the doors and ran into our classroom. 

~*~

"Wah, Haru got to kiss Kita!!!" Momiji ran up to Hatori, whining his little heart out.

"He what?" Hatori walked into Shigure's house, sliding off his shoes as he entered. "Why are you here, Momiji?"

"I wanted to spend more time with Kita!!"

"I was Black Haru, I couldn't sustain myself," Haru said bluntly. Well duh, can he *ever* control himself in black mode?

"That's not an excuse." Hatori stared around the room. Kyou was lying lazily in front of the television. Tohru and Yuki were studying at the table. "Where's Kita?"

"Upstairs with Shigure," Kyou muttered under his breath. 

"Thank you." Hatori hauled himself to where Kita was. He knocked three times, and after hearing Shigure's 'come in', opened the door.

"Ah, Tori, sit down. We were just about to discuss some matters!"

Whew buddy. I reeeally hope I don't have to meet Akito. That guy's freaky. What if he expects me to cure the curse! Hey, couldn't Hana's brother, Megumi, do that? Well, I mean come on, he can start curses. Can't he heal them, too? Hah, I am so clever to think of that. And modest to boot.

"Hello," I said meekly. Blah, what a wonderful way to introduce myself. I bet he thinks I'm some pussy that can't stand on her own. Geez, way to go, Kita.

"This is Hatori," Shigure introduced. Of course he didn't think I knew who he was… but oh well! Must play along. It's one of the duties of being an authoress. *nods* 

"I'll be examining you." He unhinged his bag and took out some freaky lookin' doctor toys.

"Eh?!? Why??" I put a hand in front of my face. Yeah, haha, my hand is gonna do a lot as a shield.*sarcasm*

"He's the Sohma's family doctor. Don't worry, Kita, it's only a check up." Shigure rested a hand on my shoulder for reassurance.

"Don't touch her," Hatori said coolly. He brushed away Shigure's hand and went to examining me. At least an hour later and I was passed out on the floor from some type of medicine he'd given me.

"I can't see anything abnormal about her. She seems to be perfectly normal."

"Ah, so it's 100 per cent sure she's a girl?" ^_^ Shigure attempted a peek down my shirt with a stupid grin on his face. 

"I told you not to touch her. And did you ever question her gender?" Hatori began packing his tools.

"I didn't want to, but it's hard to explain why she can hug us. Not once have I been embraced like that." Shigure looked down at my sleeping figure. Okay, so it wasn't so attractive how I was sprawled out in my school uniform, but he still looked as if I were his savior.

"I see." Hatori buckled his bag together and stood up from the ground. "I spoke to Akito last night."

"What did he say?"

"He seems to be quite generous this year. He's allowing her to stay." 

"Yipee!" Shigure bounced up, clapping his hands together. "I'm housing two high school girls. What more is there to life??" ^_^

"Eh?" I woke up and rubbed my head. "Who's yelling? Make them stop…" I grumbled, rolling over on my side. 

Hatori shook his head, a smile threatening to break his composure. "I'm leaving, I will call you later."

"Are you taking Momiji and Haru back with you?"  

Hatori stopped before exiting the room. "I think it will be fine if they stay for dinner."

"Then why aren't you staying?" I managed to mumble, although drowsy enough to fall asleep again.

"Huh? Oh." *sigh* Hatori turned to see me sitting up, rubbing my eyes. 

Momiji came running up the stairs, whining loudly. "Kyou hurt me!!"

"SHUT UP!" It sounded as if a horse were coming up the stairs after Momiji. "You deserved it!!!" 

Momiji ran past the open door in the room.

"I wonder—" Shigure started to say.

"MOMIJIII!!!" Kyou ran past the open door.

"BAKA-NEKO!" Yuki and Haru ran past the door.

"Please stop!" Tohru chased last, slowly running in a daze to stop them.

"—what Momiji did to upset them all," Shigure finished, rubbing his chin. "As long as they don't break the house." He walked towards me, offering his hand to help me up. I gladly accepted, walking towards the doorway to watch the four boys wrestling in the hall way. Tohru was waving her arms, asking them to stop fighting.

"Momiji!" Hatori said forcefully. "What did you do?"

"I just wanted to know if I could kiss Kita, too!!!" He began whining again as soon as Kyou knocked his fist against the top of Momiji's head. 

"Don't ask pointless questions!" Yuki commanded, grabbing Momiji by the arm. 

Haru, obviously now in black mode, pounced on top of Momiji, some how bringing all four boys on top of Tohru.

There were four brilliant flashes of light and colored smoke momentarily lingering around the hall.

~*~

Kita: Thanks for those reviews! ^_^ *hands out the promised chocolate cakes* Erm… don't get too much of a sugar high. -_-;; *looks around nervously* .  . AHH! *hides from the sex craved Black Haru and Momiji* SAVE MEE!!!

Tohru: Can't we all stop? *ish still in her little ditzy daze thingie* o.O

Kyou: BAKA BAKA BAKA!!! *smacks some sense into Black Haru and Momiji*

Momiji: You just want her all to yourself!

Kyou: Shut up, runt!!! *clenches fist and pounds on Momiji's head*

Yuki: Baka-neko.

Kyou: Eh!?!? *turns to face Yuki* I WILL WIN AGAINST YOU!!

Yuki: You always say that -_-;;

Kita: Okies, well while everyone has their fun little bickering, I'm-a eat chibichibi's cookies and start chapter three.


	3. Hot Spring, Hot Sohmas

Kita's Invasion Disclaimer: I hope you chilluns like my story, but sadly, I own but one character. ;_; And that would be me. So anyways, I don't own anything I don't own.  
  
~*~  
  
Hatori shook his head while Shigure chuckled a little. I raised my hand to smack myself on the head.  
  
Tohru had lifted the three smaller animals, a rabbit, cat and mouse in her arms and was rushing around in a circle, wondering what to do. "Gomen na sai!! I'm sorry!!" As she was running around like a chicken with its head cut off, she bumped into the large cow of Haru.  
  
"Calm down, Tohru!" Momiji squealed as she hugged the animals tighter.  
  
"It's okay, it's not your fault." -_-;; Yuki just shook his head, unable to resist Tohru's panicking.  
  
"It's the fat cow's entire fault!" Kyou shouted, his ears moving in anger.  
  
"Tohru, set them down so they can change back to human form," Hatori said calmly.  
  
"Hai!" She obeyed, setting them down gently. The *ping* of the four boys transforming sounded.  
  
Dammit, Shigure had covered my eyes. Such a spoiler -_-;  
  
I heard Tohru scream and a loud thud. I peeked through Shigure's fingers and saw the aftermaths of Tohru bumping into the wall. She was standing there, just kind of staring at the wall rubbing her forehead.  
  
"Tohru, are you alright?" Yuki finished buttoning up his shirt and touched her shoulder carefully.  
  
"Hai! Yes, I'm fine!!" She turned around, a stupefied expression written on her face.  
  
Haru had settled down, returning to normal. "Momiji, don't ask again."  
  
"But-but-" he whined, staring at me with big eyes. "Fine." His gloomy face quickly changed into a large smile. He grabbed my wrist and started skipping (a fifteen year old guy skipping? What the hell, he looks cute doing it) back down the stairs. Haru, Kyou, Yuki and Tohru followed soon after.  
  
"Did Haru steal your first kiss?" Momiji asked, pulling on my sleeve. We all sat lazily around as if ready for a game of truth or dare. Hehe, that'd be fun.  
  
"No," I confessed, blushing slightly.  
  
All eyes stared at me for a moment.  
  
"Don't look at me like I'm some prostitute!!!" I exclaimed, raising my hands in the air. Quickly I brought them down and covered my face.  
  
"Who was it with?" Tohru asked, her eyes wide with wonder. "Was it love- love??"  
  
"It was not love-love!" I crossed my arms defiantly and stared away from everyone.  
  
"Well, who was it??" Momiji repeated for Tohru.  
  
"Baca."  
  
"You kissed a guy named Baka!! Ha ha ha!!" Kyou had stood up, pointing his finger at me. Oooh. how I loathe thee.  
  
"HIS NAME WAS NOT BAKA!!! It was B-A-C-A!!!" I pulled my arms to my sides and stamped my feet like a toddler. "Stupid stupid Baca," I added under my breath.  
  
"What happened? Why would you kiss him if it wasn't love-love?" Yuki asked, a little frightened of how I was acting.  
  
I rubbed my chin, reminiscing on how I had torched all the notes and photos of him. "Ohohohoho," I cackled menacingly. "We were boyfriend and girlfriend, he wanted to show some affection, I guess."  
  
"So. why did you break up?" Haru chirped with thoughts of Rin in his head.  
  
(A/N: Alright folks, I don't know who Rin is exactly, but I know she's the horse of the Juunishi. She and Haru went out for a while, and *mysteriously* broke up. So yeah, there's not going to be any further mention of her. ^_^)  
  
Tohru's mesmerized face went sullen all of a sudden, just now realizing that in fact, we *had* broken up. I mean come on, who would date a guy named Baca? It sounds EXACTLY like baka. He is such a baka. Oh, well I guess *I* would date someone named Baca. hahahha. -_-;;  
  
I started walking out of the room, ignoring the question. "This isn't Maury," I said as my lame excuse. Hmph. Marching, I went back up to Tohru's and my room.  
  
Shigure was still talking to Hatori in the hall when I came stampeding through. "Kita, is something wr-"  
  
"I'M FINE!!!" Quickly I slammed the door behind me.  
  
"I wonder what's wrong."  
  
"Someone must have offended her." Hatori shook his head a little and proceeded to walk downstairs with Shigure at his side.  
  
The room I was in wasn't the largest of all. I didn't see how we could manage to fit another bed in here. I sauntered over to the small desk and sat down. Staring at the wall, I rested my head on the surface. Slowly my eyes began to wander, and I noted the picture of Tohru's mother. She really was beautiful, but seemed so different from Tohru.  
  
There was a knock on the door. When I refused to answer, the person opened it up and came to stand next to me. "I'm sorry. I've done a lot of things to offend you today."  
  
"Ahahahaha! Don't worry about it!" I quickly lifted my head from the table, my cheeks a little pink. Cheesus, these characters are a lot more polite than people at my old high school. *visions of butt grabbing and boob twisting appear*  
  
Momiji suddenly appeared next to Haru. "I'm sorry, too." He smiled and leaped towards me, engulfing me in a tight hug. These people are soo kawaii!!!  
  
He suddenly let go, pulling me out of the seat. He dragged me down the hall and down the stairs to where Hatori and Shigure were standing. Hmm. Momiji's pretty strong for someone his size! Haru came slowly drifting behind us. "I want to go to the hot spring!!" His whine filled the entire house, so everyone had heard him. Kyou and Yuki came rushing in with their protests.  
  
"I refuse to share a room with baka-neko again!!!" Yuki glared at Kyou, who returned the favor by challenging him to a fight.  
  
"Not here," Shigure pleaded, eyeing around the house. "My poor, poor house."  
  
"Why?" Hatori eyed Momiji carefully.  
  
"Because she's never gone before!" he answered as if it were the obvious. Hahaha, I hadn't even been to a hot spring before! Hatori better agree.  
  
"Of course we're going!" Shigure interrupted. "The question is, how will we get there?'' He turned to Hatori, batting his eyes. "Ne, Tori?"  
  
Hatori gave in to the annoying please of Momiji and Shigure. "When should we leave?"  
  
"Right now! Let's go pack our bags."  
  
"Wh-wh-what about school?!?" Tohru nearly had a heart attack at the thought of skipping.  
  
"One day isn't going to hurt, will it?" Yuki asked, touching her elbow reassuringly.  
  
Tohru turned her head towards Yuki slowly, her eyes wide with horror. O_O  
  
Shigure was coming down the stairs, suitcase in hand. Wait. when had he left? "I'm ready!" ^_^ He bounced out of the house and waited expectantly by Hatori's car. Haru and Momiji followed Hatori outside while the others went to pack.  
  
"I love the hot spring!" Tohru giggled as she threw some clothes into a bag. "It's so relaxing and luxurious." She began humming as she wrapped her mother's picture in plastic. "Have you ever been to a hot spring?"  
  
"No," sheepishly I answered. What was I so embarrassed about? So I'd never been to a hot spring before, big deal. It wasn't something to be self- conscious about. Heh, silly me over reacting again. -_-;  
  
Everyone piled into the car. The sun was setting, so we would more than likely eat dinner at the inn. Kyou, Haru and Yuki took the backseats while Tohru, Momiji and I took the middle. Shigure sat up front with Hatori, talking jibberish about the things he planned to do when they arrived.  
  
The mellow sky soothed everyone and put them into a clam sleep. Of course I couldn't sleep with all the anticipation I was feeling. I turned around.  
  
KAWAII!!! WHERE'S MY CAMERA?!?!? The three boys were tangled with each other in their sleep. Haru obviously shifted a lot when he slept. His head was propped against Yuki's right shoulder, an arm draped around him for support as he slept. Yuki's head was against Haru's, his fingers intertwined with his. Kyou had his head resting on Haru's shoulder, hugging his arm like a teddy bear. This was some type of fantasy come true for any fangirls who supported guy-to-guy relationships. Of course these three were straight, or were they?...  
  
CAMERAAAAAA!!!! It was securely stashed away in the suitcase stuffed in the very back of the car!! ;_;  
  
Hatori stopped the car abruptly, pushing the three boys into a rude awakening.  
  
"WHAT THE HELL!?!?" Kyou was the first to wake. Realizing what he was doing, he pulled back before anyone *saw*. Hehehe, I will treasure that image forever!!!  
  
Yuki was staring at the top of Haru's head. He quickly stiffened his back and removed his hand from Haru's.  
  
Haru refused to wake easily, leaving his head on Yuki's shoulder.  
  
"We're here," Tohru chanted happily while turning around in her seat. She gasped in horror at Haru's position. "Wh-wh-wha?!?"  
  
"It's not what you think, Tohru!" Yuki pleaded, trying to push Haru off of him. "Don't misunderstand!!"  
  
"Misunderstand what?" She was still freaking out, slowly backing out of the car.  
  
Momiji giggled and exclaimed, "Haru's cheating on Kita!!" The giggling continued until they had walked in front of the inn.  
  
"Wow! It's humungo!!" I looked up, staring at the really *really* big inn. It was gigantic!! I'll probably get lost. Oh no! What if I get lost and can't find food. or an escape route! I'm going to have a pitiful death!! ;_;  
  
"Kita?" Tohru was staring at me with a worried expression.  
  
"Y-yes."  
  
The front door creaked open. A woman was crawling outside, strands of black hair escaping her bun. Dark circles encompassed her eyes. "WELCOME!!!!"  
  
"Eh?" Oh boy, it was the crazy lady.  
  
"This is me-shou!" Momiji pointed to the woman collapsed at the door.  
  
A figure from inside came towards them. She stooped down to pick up the collapsed woman and slung her arm around her shoulder to help support her.  
  
Wait. was I so sure it was a she?  
  
"Ritsu?! What are you doing here??" Shigure was heaving the last of the suitcases towards the inn.  
  
"What? Am I not supposed to be here?? GOMEN NA SAI!! I APPOLOGIZE TO EVERYONE! I APPOLOGIZE TO ALL THE PEOPLE OF THE EARTH!!!"  
  
"No, I'm just shocked to see you here." ^_^ Shigure started chuckling and started migrating the luggage inside.  
  
Ritsu's mother coughed a little and straightened her posture. "Welcome. My son Ritsu is here to help the inn. I've become ill lately."  
  
"Lately?" Kyou looked over at Yuki with a weird look.  
  
There were voices heard from inside. Hatori paused and questioned, "Who else is here?"  
  
His answer came through the doors, a spunky college freshman and a tall man with silver-white hair came hopping outside.  
  
"Kagura?!?" Kyou stepped back in horror.  
  
"AYA!!" Shigure dropped all suitcases and ran towards Ayame, chuckling.  
  
"SHI!!" Ayame flipped his hair over one shoulder and calmed his voice. "I didn't know you would be here."  
  
Hatori interrupted. "Yes you did. He called you earlier to ask you to meet us here." Hatori grabbed the forgotten suitcases and began stashing them inside the door.  
  
"Ohoho. Tori, I'm glad you're here too!!" ^_^ Ayame was giggling again.  
  
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE, SPAWN OF SATAN!?!?" Yuki was with Kyou, making a very slow, shocked escape.  
  
"KYOOOOOOU! LOVE OF MY LIFE!!!!!" Kagura came running towards Kyou, pouncing him with a death hug.  
  
I, relishing the fact that Ayame was standing in front of me, stood still in shock.  
  
Tohru and Ritsu had gone off to the side to talk. I was impressed to see Ritsu. He had his copper hair tied back into a braid and wore a not-so- girly robe.  
  
Okay, shock time over. Unlike the others, I didn't tackle Ayame with a hug. I just coughed slightly and introduced myself. "Ahem, I'm Kita-"  
  
"Ooooh! Is this the angel whom I may hug?!?!" Ayame grabbed me in his arms, tightly hugging me against his chest. For a guy that wore funny looking dress things (ah! No! Mental picture of Ayame dressed drag! *cries to herself*) he sure was ho-ot. With the two Oh's.  
  
I was hugging Ayame!! I was *actually* hugging Ayame! Oh wait.. what was that?!? OH MY GOD! AYAME IS GROPING ME. EEEEEEK!!  
  
"Oooooooouuuuuuuucccccchhhhh! Tooooooori, that hurt!!!" Ayame whined and let go of me.  
  
Hatori gave the same warning to Ayame as he had Shigure earlier, "Don't touch her."  
  
"But why!! She's in the prime of her youth, a sweet blossom ready to be won over by the heart of a handsome man. And, might I add, she gives tremendous hugs!!" ^_^ Okay, so he wasn't used to giving hugs. I could deal with that.  
  
"I said. Do not touch her."  
  
"Alrighty!" ^_^ Ayame went gallivanting to his younger brother, slapping him on the back. "I am sure my dearest brother has already *made the moves* on this fine woman!! He is not dense enough to pass the opportunity to find the one girl in the history of the Sohmas to be able to hug the Juunishi!!!"  
  
I couldn't stop blushing. Okay, so Ayame was reeeally sexy in that red dress thing, and he was trying to hook me up with Yuki! Po-lease. Tohru already had him wrapped around her little finger!!  
  
I walked into the inn, ignoring the commotion outside. Everything was marvelous inside. I could smell food being cooked from the kitchen. Steady songs that reminded me of a Zen garden played quietly from speakers. Eep! I couldn't wait for the hot spring! ^_^  
  
Someone had walked in and stood behind me. I turned to see Haru staring around. Smiling probably wasn't even on his mind. -_-;; What a cold stone face. He bent down and took the suitcase I had dropped at my side. Ritsu and Tohru came in, giggling about something or other.  
  
"Oh! I'm sorry!!! Let me show you to your room!!" Ritsu had a minor panic attack and showed the three of us to our rooms. The table was stacked high with food, ready to be eaten. "Let me go get the others." Ritsu left quickly out of the room.  
  
"Awesome!!" Tohru sat down, breathing in the aroma the food produced. "Come sit next to me, Kita."  
  
Haru dispersed of his coat and threw it over my suitcase. The three of us sat on one side of the table. I checked my chin to make sure I wasn't drooling.  
  
"Food Food Food!" Momiji came dancing in, sitting opposite of Tohru. "Be sure to eat a lot, Tohru!"  
  
"Hai!"  
  
Shortly afterwards, everyone else came filing in. Ayame was sure to sit across from me, but also near Yuki so they could have their *bonding* time.  
  
The food was delicious. Consequently, it made me drowsy. Everyone chatted around me while my body threatened to fall backwards. Tohru saw me lazily swaying back and forth and suggested we leave for the hot spring. "The weather has gotten cooler since the sun set! It should be pretty outside!" She grabbed Kagura's and my wrist and led us towards the bath.  
  
We walked outside in towels, slowly edging our way into the water. Tohru held the plastic covered frame close to her, wading in.  
  
Tohru was right. Tiny lights sparkled from all over the garden. Large trees cast shadows around, making it eerily romantic. So cool! ^_^  
  
The hot water was soooo relaxing. I was afraid to fall asleep in there. What a horrible way to die! Drowning in a hot spring. *sigh* I leaned against a rock and closed my eyes, letting the steam manipulate my dreams.  
  
*SPLASH* Water came pouring down onto me, waking me up. I slipped from my sitting position and fell into the water. Wah! Such a peaceful evening ruined!!! I got up, glaring around to find the culprit.  
  
Tohru was sitting next to me, humming to herself. The photo of her mother was enclosed protectively in a hug. Kagura was up with me, clenching her fist in anger.  
  
There were some giggles behind the separator of the baths. Momiji splashed again, sending a wave of water towards the women's bath.  
  
"Sit down, Momiji." Hatori's voice sounded tired, yet still contained the forcing tone that caused him to stop.  
  
"Awe, but I want to play with Tohru, Kagura and Kita!!" He began crying, asking if he could go into our bath.  
  
"Ah, such a strong willed man!" Ayame admired, going soft on Momiji.  
  
Shigure sat next to Ayame, grinning stupidly. "Aya, where are you sleeping tonight?" ^_^  
  
"Where else, Shi??" Ayame bat his eyelashes flirtatiously. "Unless Yuki would like to share a room with his dear brother!"  
  
"I'd rather sleep with baka-neko."  
  
"WHAT?!?" Kyou stood up, ready to fight Yuki.  
  
"Sit down. I was exaggerating."  
  
Kyou kicked the water, but listened and sat back down.  
  
Ritsu proposed a suggestion. "Well, mother and I had it planned out as so: Hatori, Ayame and Shigure would share a room. Yuki and Haru would share a bed in the same room with Kyou and Momiji."  
  
Yuki's face went blank after remembering the car ride here. "I refuse to sleep with a cow."  
  
Momiji whined, "Let me stay with Tohru!!"  
  
"Kyou can stay in my room!!" Kagura announced, peeking over the separator.  
  
"DON'T LOOK OVER HERE!!" Kyou yelled, splashing water in her face.  
  
"Wah! Kyou doesn't love me any more!!" Kagura whimpered and sat back down in the bath.  
  
At the time everyone started going to bed, the sleeping arrangements were as Ritsu had declared earlier. I, luckily, got my own bed while Kagura and Tohru shared.  
  
Before falling asleep, I heard the loud crash of thunder and the pouring of rain. Thank God it hadn't been stormy earlier.  
  
~*~  
  
Kita: Yay, another chapter done! Bwuhahaha. and the introduction of my favorite character Ayame! *drools*  
  
Ayame: Ha ha ha!! Yes, bow down to my godly body!!!  
  
Fangirls: Ooo! Aah!!  
  
Yuki: Sit down, serpent demon.  
  
Kita: *huggles Ayame* He's not a demon!!!  
  
Shigure: Aya, what happened to us!!! ;_;  
  
Hatori: Calm down, Shigure.  
  
Shigure: Yesh Tori!!  
  
Kyou: LET ME GOO!!! *ish being attacked by Kagura*  
  
Kita: Anyhoo, I hope you enjoyed my story! You can save the rain forest by reviewing. I swear it!! -_-;; 


	4. Death by Roaches

**Kita's Invasion**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters. *tear* Except for Kita, who happens to be me… and what I would do in those situations… but anyways!! If I were to own Fruits Basket, I'd probably die from happiness. So obviously, since I'm still alive, I don't own it.**

Kita: I'm so sorry I haven't updated recently, but I finally found time to type on Christmas Day. See, I'm in the car right at this moment (well, not at THIS moment, when I'm typing this) and I can see downtown Dallas, Texas all lit up. It's really pretty. There's some big circle building all lit up, so it looks like a random ball in the sky. It's called the Reunion Tower, I believe. If my laptop will last, I'll try to type the entire four hour trip. *makes no promises* .  .

For those who reviewed, thank you!! I donated a dollar per review for a fundraiser we had at school to save the rainforests. (My history teacher thought I was being very generous when I gave him ten dollars… I had to explain the entire thing to him. Now he wants to read my story! *le cringe*)

~*~

There was a loud crash of thunder. Rubbing my eyes, I groggily woke up. It was still the middle of the night. Wind caused the foundation of the inn to creak. Rain hit the roof peacefully, lulling me back to sleep. I turned onto my side and cuddled against the pillow. I felt something warm against me. Instinctively I grabbed for it and hugged it close to me. I could feel hot wind on my chest. As soon as something wet touched me, I let go of what I had grabbed and pushed it away from me.

Lying in my bed was a naked Ayame. o_O

"PERVERT!" I tried to push him off the side of my bed, but he was still asleep. He grabbed onto my arm and pulled me close to him. Spooky for a sleeping person to do. -_-;; "LET GO OF ME! WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HERE?!?" Some how, through all my shouting, Kagura and Tohru remained asleep. Those losers… not helping me out in my time of need…

"What's going on?" Haru had skidded into the room after waking up to my screaming. The moment he saw Ayame, black mode kicked in. "What the hell do you think you're doing?!?" He tore Ayame away from the bed and pinned him against the wall.

Hehehe, anyone could misinterpret a shirtless Haru pinning a naked Ayame against the wall. ^_^

"Eh?? What's going—" Yuki came walking into the room, his hand rubbing his head and his eyes still closed. As soon as his big purple eyes opened, he pointed and screamed. "I KNEW YOU WERE GAY!!"

"Shut Up!" Black Haru barked. "I Found Him In Bed Like This With Kita!!"

Amazing. Tohru and Kagura were still sound asleep.

"YOU WHAT?!?" Yuki was slowly making his way towards Ayame, a threatening fist in the air.

"I have a simple explanation," Ayame cooed calmly. 

"You Will Not Be Forgiven," Yuki growled. Mice started creeping in from outside, surrounding Ayame's feet.

"I was simply trying to get in from the storm. I didn't realize someone was in this bed." ^_^

"Liar," Yuki said bluntly.

"Shi had kicked me out in the middle of the storm," ;_; Ayame began his story dramatically. "He says I was talking about Kita too much." He paused to flash me a dazzling smile. "He locked me out of our room. It was raining very hard and became cold. You know how I get in cold weather. Ohoho." He began giggling, then resumed, "I transformed and slithered in here. I found myself a nice warm bed to rest in. It was only a bonus to have Kita underneath the covers."

Someone came stomping into the room. "I told you not to touch her." Hatori was in his pajamas, cursing loudly at himself for allowing Shigure to lock Ayame out of the room. "Let go, Haru."

"You expect me to let this jerk go? I won't let him loose so easily!" Haru was still angry and in black mode.

"For the love of God, let him put some clothes on." Hatori shook his head. "Yuki, come with me." He didn't want to leave Yuki alone with Ayame while he was so angry. For an instant he debated about calling Haru back, but he knew neither Yuki nor Haru would forgive him for letting me sleep by myself… unprotected from perverts. Wait, what am I saying? Black Haru was a pervert too! Ahh!!

Haru unwillingly let Ayame go, but was still Black. He turned quickly towards me and grabbed my waist, pulling me forward. "Did he hurt you?"

"N-no! He scared me, that's all!" Ehehehe.. A little like you're doing now!! Let me gooo…

Instead, he did quite the opposite. Haru took a step forward. I counteracted by taking the largest step back I could in Haru's grasp. I eventually felt my back hit against the wall. Haru let go of my waist and put both hands on either side of my head, holding me in as if his body were a cage. Eep, I was getting claustrophobic!! O_O

"Wanna screw?"

Whoa buddy, Black Haru sure was a mood killer!! Erm, not that there was a *mood* before hand, right? Gah, Black Haru ish scary!! -_-;;

"LECHER!!" I slapped his jaw and ducked under one of his arms, only to be caught in the arms of a toga clothed Ayame. He'd taken *my* bed sheets to wear! How rude! And why the hell hadn't Kagura and Tohru woken up yet!! After a few poundings on his chest, Ayame finally got tired of it and squashed me against him so I couldn't raise my arms any longer. Geez, if this kept up, I wasn't going to be able to breathe!! 

"Kita." I could feel Ayame bring his head down to nuzzle his face in my hair. Eek, talk about freaky!!! I mean, I enjoyed the closeness and all, but… Ahh! He was groping me again! Get Him Off!!! I did the only defensive move I could think of… I bit his arm.

"WAHH! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!!" Ayame let go, moving his arm up and down. I kept clinging on with my teeth.

Apparently Haru's concern about me being abducted by Ayame finally overcame his rage. He did a 180 degree flip in personality and came back to normal. The calm face of Haru simply came towards Ayame and plucked me away from him. "Listen to Hatori and don't touch Kita."

"Haru…"

Ayame put his hands on his hips and tilted his head back in a laugh. "I'm not going to listen to a half pint like you!" His face went serious and he caressed his chin thoughtfully. "But since its Tori's wishes, I'll leave Kita alone."

Haru let go of me and started walking towards the door, assuming I was safe. Ayame followed him out, waving and teasing him before he was out of hearing range. "Don't get lost on the way to your room!!"

I heard someone mumbling from across the room. Tohru was talking in her sleep, saying things that sounded a lot like, "It's alright… Yuki… Kyou… Don't be scared of love…" Maybe that girl knows more about those two than the rest of us. o_O Slowly I went to bed, trying to escape Tohru's mindless chattering.

~*~

"Good morning!!" Ayame came waltzing into the room, fully clothed. He sat down at the table where Shigure and Yuki sat, cold looks on their faces. "What's wrong?" He grabbed a bun and stared at the two weirdly.

Shigure crossed his arms with a defiant "hmph!".

"Awe, Shi, you're not still mad about that!!" Ayame scooted towards Shigure, his eyes wide and watering.

"Of course I am!" He shifted his weight and turned his head away from Ayame. "Aya, you had Kita on your mind all night!!!" 

Ayame shoved his hand down Shigure's gray robe. "That isn't true." 

"Aya!" ^_^ Shigure blushed and giggled. He broke his stern posture and began joking with Ayame.

Yuki had moved clean across the room next to Tohru and Kagura, who were currently tying ribbons into each others hair. Yuki's dark stricken face displayed the distaste he had for his brother. 

I rest my head on the table, trying my hardest not to doze off. The steady pounding of rain mixed with my lack of sleep was a sweet lullaby to my ears. It seemed that Tohru could NOT keep her mouth shut while sleeping. I'll have to fix that problem if I'm supposed to share a room with her. Carefully I shifted my head, staring at the gray rain through a window.

A tired Kyou came in dragging his feet. "I hate the rain." He sat down next to me and copied my actions, resting his head on the table. "Someone make it stop." With his eyes closed, I could tell all his energy was drained. No wonder he hadn't come into the room last night to help harass Ayame. The storm must have put him dead asleep.

"I think its nap time," I muttered, falling backwards. 

"No time for that!" Momiji's cheerful voice shrieked at the door. "We can have just as much fun when it's storming!" With his perky attitude, Momiji grabbed me by the wrist, dragging me out of the room. I unclearly followed with my eyes still blurry from sleeplessness. 

"Where are we going, Momiji?" We were coming towards a room where I could hear faint *pings*. "What's going on?"

"Hatori and Ritsu are playing ping pong, so I don't want to disturb them. I want to explore the inn!" Momiji had let go of my hand, letting me freely follow his footsteps.

"Don't you know all about the inn?" My knees were threatening to buckle any second, letting me finally rest and sleep. I wonder where Momiji is taking me… maybe there will be a nice, warm bed. Yeah, that'd be nice. Probably even Ayame free.

"Kita, hurry up!" 

"Coming!" I quickened my pace to a near jog. I was finally catching up to Momiji when I was crashed down to the ground. I had hit my head on something. "Oww!" I rubbed the spot where I had hit and stayed on the ground. Although it wasn't a nice warm bed, it felt good to be lying down. 

"Kita, are you alright??" Momiji came towards me, his big brown eyes wide in concern. "Did Haru hurt you?"

"Huh? Haru?" I opened my eyes to see black spots dancing around the faces of Momiji and Haru. Where did Haru come from? He held an expressionless face while holding a hand out to lift me up. 

"What are you doing here?" Momiji glowered at Haru with his hands on his hips. 

"I was looking for the nearest bathroom, but got lost." Haru stared off in space, trying to remember how he had gotten there with an aloof smile. Unlike last night, he now wore a white t-shirt along with his black pants. 

"You're such a fat cow." Momiji pointed his arm down the hall and sighed with frustration. "It's down there." 

"How long have you been wandering around?" I stared down at my wrist watch, announcing the time. "It's nearly nine o'clock."

"I guess around two hours." Haru casually followed Momiji's directions and walked down the hall.

"He's a lost cause." Momiji shook his head sadly and began skipping with me by his side. "I'd hate to be lost in the inn. It's so large! We might loose our way and go days without food!" He giggled and slowed down to a walk. "Is there anything Kita would like to do-" Momiji's short lived question was broken off by his own shriek.

As soon as I saw what Momiji had yelled at, he was hiding behind me. I was frozen in my spot, face to face with my worst enemy. On the ground lay a roach, twitching its antennae, getting ready to make his next move. "EEEEeeeeeekkkk!!!" I screamed at the top of my lungs and tried to walk backwards, but Momiji was in my way.

A door from down the hall open and slammed shut. Bare feet clopped against the ground, echoing after my ear piercing scream. Haru was running towards us again, but with Kyou at his heels. They both must have been wondering what was wrong. "Is everything alright?" Kyou was in a stance ready to fight, trying to find what all the commotion was about. 

"It's a… there… KILL IT!!!" My hands were covering my face as I tried to move back. Momiji wasn't getting out of my way! 

"Oh, is that all?" Haru grabbed at Momiji's ankle and forced off his shoe. He took it in hand and crouched down, bringing the shoe quickly down towards the bug. I shut my eyes before hearing a disgusting SQUASH! There went my appetite… But alas, Kyou and Haru were my heroes! They vanquished the villain without a sweat!! 

"Thank you." I was staring at them with dazzled eyes through my morning hair and unwashed face. As I've been described before in the morning, I looked like Medusa with my untamed curls. (The looks of my face probably didn't help the nick name much, either)

Haru shrugged off my gratitude and looked around the hall confused. "Where is breakfast?"

"We already ate." Kyou leaned against the wall, the short run from down the hall tiring him out. 

"You what?!" Haru stepped towards Kyou, a spark of fire in his eyes.

"My shoe!!!" Momiji leaned over it, refusing to pick it up from the ground. I don't blame him, I was equally terrified (if not more) to see what was underneath. 

Kyou picked up the shoe, agitation reflecting in his motions. He scraped it against the wall and tossed it back to Momiji. "There. Good as new."

"What are you talking about? It still has guts on it!" Momiji looked at the wall and cringed. "Why did you have to do that?!"

Kyou raised his arm and brought his elbow down on Momiji's head. "Shut Up and put your shoe back on!"

"I'm in the mood for tuna," Haru commented absentmindedly. He lifted his nose in the air, hoping he might catch the scent drifting in the air.

"Yeah, me too!" Momiji stood next to Haru and copied his sniffing techniques. Kyou was leaning against the wall (not the part with the bits of roach guts, though) with big bags around his eyes. 

"Kyou, are you alright? Shouldn't you be in bed resting?" I reached out to touch his forehead, but he slapped my hand.

"I'm fine! I'm not sick, just tired! Leave me alone, you old prude." 

"Don't talk to Kita that way, Kyou!! It's rude and you hurt her feelings!" But before Momiji could finish his scolding, there was a soft *ping* and a poof of smoke. On the floor was a sleeping orange cat.

I picked him up and held him close. "Momiji, do you think we could postpone our exploration? Kyou needs to be looked over."

"That stupid cat is just sleeping because he's lazy when it rains!!!" Momiji began whining and pulling on my sleeve. No matter how cute the kid is, he was getting on my nerves! Geez, very self-centered. 

"Aren't there times when you feel so tired you can't take another step? I'm sure if that happened you would want someone to care and look over you, ne?"

Momiji just stared at me with his big eyes.

"Haru, do you know what I'm talking about???" I was nearly groveling for someone to understand.

"Hai."

Ahahahaha! Some compassion is found in the Sohma boys! I was getting ready to think there wasn't a bit of that in the family. [At least I know there isn't much in Akito -_-;;]

"That's a relief. Well then, I'm going to put Kyou to bed and then we can all play a game! I brought some games from my home!" I started making my way to the boys' room and put Kyou to bed. After tucking the blanket around him I made sure there was a bowl of hot soup and a pair of pajamas for him when he woke up and transformed.

"What game did you bring?" Momiji whispered. He had gone off and brought Yuki, Kagura and Tohru along with Haru. 

"What's going on in here?" Ritsu walked into the room with a new blanket for Kyou. "Did I do something wrong?!?!?" 

"No, nonononono! Ritsu, calm down!" Tohru patted her… erm, his arm reassuringly. "We're going to play a game."

"Would you like to join?" Yuki added with a small smile.

"Thank you! I will try my best."

"Kiiiiiita, what game did you bring?!?!?" Momiji jumped on the balls of his feet impatiently. 

"Twister!"

~*~

Kita: Oh my goodness!! It is so hard to type in the dark on a bumpy road while listening to Ben Folds Five and watching Ever After at the same time!!! I'm so happy I finally finished this chapter though!!

Kyou: Zzzzzzzzz

Yuki: What is the big deal about Christmas? All you did was eat the entire time and open presents with really annoying family members. *glares at Ayame. glare glare* O_O

Ayame: Christmas sounds like a fabulous holiday! *grabs Yuki and noogies* Oooh, Kita, I saw you working under that mistletoe!! ^_^

Kita: Eh? What are you talking about?? The mistletoe was an oak branch we found in the front yard. Nobody actually kissed under it apart from the old people. *cough cough my mom and dad cough cough*

Ayame: Oh Shi!! Why don't we get some mistletoe?!? *rummages through random crate for mistletoe*

Shigure: Ooh, sounds wonderful!! Maybe we can make it a year-round decoration!

Hatori: No. Put it away, Ayame.

Ayame: Ttttttttooooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!

Hatori: Put it away.

Ayame: *tosses mistletoe at Tohru*

Tohru: Wha-wha-what?!?!?! *looks at a bit puzzled and flustered. Momiji jumps on top of her and starts kissing all over cheeks*

Haru: *grabs Momiji and locks him in cage*

Kita: I hope everyone had a Happy Holiday!!! Feel free to give me a belated gift and review!! ^_^ *blows kisses and hops off singing the 12 Days of Kwanza*


	5. Raindrops

**Kita's Invasion**

**Disclaimer: In short, I don't own these characters. I don't own the story in which these characters came from. And I don't own the creator in which the story came from. Soo, please keep that in mind while reading (and reviewing *puts on innocent look*) my fandomosity. Yess. So please enjoy and keep an open mind while reading my story. Some bits of it might not make sense, but laugh anyways and just skip over it.**

Kita: Hello, hello my darling reviewers! Erm.. I mean readers! Yeah, that's it!! ^_^;; The world is full of blah and I am but a blah-mutant. I have no idear where that came from; I'm a smidgen on the tired side and will probably fall asleep in the middle of this here monologue. *closes eyes for them to rest. Yeah, that's it, rest…* WAI!!! It's only 7:40!! Anyshoe, I haven't a clue where I'm going with this fanfic… I just know its bloody fun to write. Soo, I'm up for any suggestions you might have. I really don't know why I had this thing categorized as romance, so I guess I must add a bit of mush in here somewhere. I doubt if it makes its way into this chapter.

~*~ 

"Twister!"

"What on earth is Twister? Should I know? I'm sorry! SORRY FOR NOT KNOWING!!!!" Ritsu fell to his knees and began crawling towards my feet. Eep, creepy man. Get away!! Get away!! He'd be rather nice looking if he weren't so girly. A little like Ayame with copper hair.

"No! It's alright for you not to know!! It's a physical contact game. Here, see?" I turned around and pulled out my magical authoress wand. Yup, I got a magical authoress wand! Anyshoe, I pulled it out and POOF, there was a twister game all laid out for us. Hopefully we wouldn't be too loud and wake Kyou up. "One person stays out of the game and spins the spinner doohickey like so." I spun the doohickey and it landed on the red spot for left hand. "The spinner would call out 'Left hand on red!' and all the players would find a red spot and put their left hand on it. It's easy as that! The first person who falls or their bum touches the ground looses. That's when the spinner and the looser switch positions, so everyone gets a chance to play!"

"It sounds dangerous." Tohru looked wearily at the Twister mat. "Are you sure I'll be able to play?"

"As long as you don't get a bloke underneath you, sure. Oh, and as long as a bloke doesn't get on top of you… erm, you know what, perhaps you can spin." Poor girl, she'll have to be the permanent spinner. What a boring job. "We can play twister later with you, Kagura, Uo, Hana, and me." Yay, she smiled, we can get on with the game. 

~*~ 

Haru and Momiji were automatically out. Kagura was out after rendezvousing with Yuki underneath Ritsu's left leg. I was arched backwards over Ritsu, who was nearly twisted every which way across the mat. Yuki was crouched down like a frog ready to pounce over Ritsu who was leaning over him to the red spot. It was like a human stack of pancakes.

"Right foot green!" Tohru shouted out behind the spinner. 

Yuki and I toppled over.

"Ai! Ouch ouch ouch!" I clashed into Yuki's head as we met on the ground. "Are you alright?"

"Yes, I think so." He rubbed the side of his head. "Your skull is hard."

"Oh, well excuse me for being hardheaded."

"That's the wrong phrase!" Yuki shook his head impatiently. "You're a lot like baka-neko."

"Pff, you two aren't that different, rodent."

"Hey, stop fighting!" Kagura and Tohru were towering over Yuki and me as if we were bad behaving toddlers. 

"I'M SORRY!!! IT'S ALL MY FAULT FOR WINNING! PLEASE PUNISH ME!!!" Ritsu fell to his knees in front of Yuki and bowed his head to the floor. 

"What a masochist," Yuki groaned, looking down at Ritsu. "It's not your fault."

"Yeah, that's right, it's mine!" I helped Ritsu up and dusted off his shoulders. "Nobody wants to punish you anyways. Although you might not realize it, it isn't important to cry over spilt milk." 

"No matter how many times you tell Ritsu that, he won't listen," Momiji whispered as if he shouldn't be talking. Hello, Momiji, Ritsu is still in the room! Think you could save your little comments for later?!?

"It's only because he cares so much about everyone!" Kagura protested. "He wants to make sure he doesn't burden us with anything!"

"Don't you realize he DOES burden us with his constant apologizing?" Momiji covered Haru's mouth as soon as it crossed his lips. Stupid Haru. Why did he have to go and say that? Ritsu's eyes were watering…

"Ehh… hehehehehehe, come on Ritsu, let's go find something sweet to eat!" I grabbed his arm and dragged him out into the hall. When we were finally out of the room I let go of his arm and linked it with mine. "You know, Ritsu, I'm always being ridiculed at home for apologizing too much. But if you don't apologize, everything will be left undone, ne?"

"I know…. I know I should learn to calm down." Ritsu had his head bowed down, his hair coming over his eyes so I couldn't tell if he was crying or not. "But what else can I do?"

I tightened my arm around his and looked up at his face. "You can smile every once in a while. That always helps someone." We had made our way outside on the porch near the baths. The rain was pouring steadily onto the leaves of the trees and plants, distorting the light hidden in their branches. "A smile is the best apology one can give."

~*~

"Baka!! What on earth was going on inside your head when you said that?!?" Yuki tossed a pillow at Haru's head and fell to the ground next to Tohru. "He's sensitive to what others think about him."

"He was agitating me," was Haru's simple defense. "Someone had to say it."

"No, they didn't have to say it." Yuki crossed his arms and stared blankly at Haru. "You should apologize to Ritsu."

Across the room, Kagura was sitting at the bedside of Kyou, patting a cold washcloth against his forehead. Momiji hopped behind her to see over her shoulder. "Is he dead?!?!"

"No, my sweetheart only has a fever. He would never leave me." Kagura tucked a piece of orange hair behind his ear. 

"Yeah right," Momiji giggled, still hopping around Kagura's back.

"What Did You Say?" Kagura had done a face drop and turned slowly towards Momiji, a glint of fire in her eyes. "KYOU WOULD NEVER LEAVE ME!!!" She stood up and grabbed Momiji's neck, flailing him back and forth.

"KYA! Ssssssssstttttttttttttttttttooooooooooooppppppppp!!" Crying, Momiji called out for Tohru. "Sssssssssaaaaaaaaaaaaaaavvvvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeeeeee mmmmmmmmmmmeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!"

"Kagura… Kagura… Don't you think you should calm down?" ^^;;

"What is all this noise?" Kyou woke up irritably, throwing the washcloth off his head. "Shut Up Momiji!"

"KYOU!!!" Kagura dropped back to a sitting position and wrapped her arms around Kyou in a death grip. "I knew you wouldn't leave me!"

"Eh? What are you talking about? ….. GET OFF!!!" 

~*~

Raindrops kept falling on Ritsu's head as he walked away from me and into the grass. His eyes were red, but I couldn't tell if he was crying or not. The rain fell over his face to substitute the tears. 

"You'll catch a cold if you stay out there too long-" But before I could finish, Ritsu had grabbed my arm and pulled me out in the rain with him. 

"Don't you think… if it rained all the time, people would be happier?" He tilted back his head and opened his mouth to catch water. Eeh, Ritsu was acting crazier than usual.

"Why would you say that?" I looked down at my muddy socks and clicked my heels. Darn it, we weren't back inside the inn. Where are those stupid ruby slippers when you need them.

"People wouldn't be able to tell if they were crying or not. The rain would wash it all away before you could realize it." Ritsu grabbed my chin and pulled my face upwards. "Don't look down." He wiped the wet hair out of my face and smiled. "People need to see the smile for it to count." Heh, what a weirdo. ^____^

"Ritsu, is that yoooooou??" A window to the recreational room opened up and Shigure's face popped out. He stuck out an arm and waved. "Ki-ta! Ritsu! Come inside, we're getting ready to leave!"

"Shi, close the window!! My hair is getting wet!"

"Coming, Aya!!" The window closed shut quickly and Shigure was gone.

~*~

"Thanks for letting us stay, Ritsu. Tori is going to drive us home. Stay safe and keep out of trouble while I'm away!" Shigure clapped his hand over Ritsu's shoulder and smiled. "My bed sheets were a little itchy last night. Perhaps there was too much starch?" ^_^

"GOMEN NA SAI!!!"

"Ohohohohohohohoho. I'm only kidding!" Shigure helped Ritsu up from his collapsed form and smiled. "Don't be so uptight."

"Shiiiiiigure." Momiji pulled on the sleeve of his robe and began whining. "You forgot us."

"Oh yeah, Aya will be taking Momiji, Haru and Kagura home. We will all see you later, take care!" We all gave our individual goodbyes and piled into the back of Hatori's car. Kyou and I sat in the back while Tohru and Yuki sat in front of us. I'm sure Yuki and Kyou were only trying to avoid another episode of sleep-affection. Hehehehehehe. KAWAII! 

Kyou grunted and positioned his shoulder against the window so he could fall asleep without his head beating against the side every time Hatori hit a bump in the road. Awe, he was still groggy from the rain.

"You could lean on my shoulder, you know. It might be more comfortable." 

"I'm Fine!" Geez, I was only trying to help out. 

The car hit a huge bump in the road. If it weren't for my seatbelt, I would have gone flying up a seat next to Tohru. Kyou went flying also, his head hitting the window hard. Eep, it made me wince a bit. 

"Damn!" Kyou grabbed the side of his head and sank back in his seat. "Watch where you're going, Hatori!!!"

"My shoulder still stands for an offer," I suggested, scooting closer to him. "It isn't as bony as it looks."

"Fine, but only because I'm tired. Don't misunderstand." He leaned down and rested his head on my shoulder. He was soon off to dreamland.

"Kita, do you know how to sew?" Tohru and Yuki both turned around to talk with me. "I have an idea for a cosplay outfit, but I don't think I would be very good at making it."

"What did you want to do? I could help you with it. I'm not too bad at stitching."

"I was thinking of making a Teletubbies costume! Perhaps the little red one."

"Eeh…. I'll see what I can do." ¬_¬;;

Out of nowhere, Kyou wrapped his arm around my waist. "WAH?!?! Kyou, are you awake?!?" I peeled open one of his eyes to see it rolling in the back of his head. "Kyyyyoooooouuuuu." Sure, it was just for support so he wouldn't go sliding off the seat… BUT COULDN'T HE FIND ANOTHER WAY?!? "KYOU WAKE UP!!"

"Will win.,… rat…."

Aaawwwwweee, he was sleep talking! ^_^

We made it the rest of the way home with just a tad of the drooling bit from Kyou while Yuki and Tohru exchanged garden tidbits. I myself nearly fell asleep, but was too self-conscious about the salivating Kyou.

"Did you know broccoli is the plural for broccolo?" Yuki chimed in with his gardening expertise as the car came to a stop in front of the house. 

I began poking at Kyou, trying to wake him up. "_Kyou_," I began to whisper, trying not to give him a disturbing wake up call. The sun was starting to shine through the clouds, so he would have his spunk back by tomorrow, but I would much rather him jump up and off me right now. "Kyou… KYOU GET OFF!!!"

"Wah… what?" He shook his mass of orange hair and wiped the drool off with the back of his hand. "Oh, we're home already?"

"Of course, baka-neko," Yuki taunted from outside the car. "Hurry up before Kita drowns from your drooling."

"If I weren't so tired, I would come back with a lame [yet witty] retort!! DAMN RAT!!!" Kyou jumped out of the car-

-but fell flat on his face before he could chase after Yuki.

"Kyou, are you all right??" Tohru ran to his side and helped him up. "Should I make tea?? I'll go make some tea. And dinner. Yes, I'll make dinner, too. That should make you feel better!"

Dear Lord, with Yuki's gardening and Tohru's cooking, they would make a perfect match. Yes, a perfect match…

"Kyou! I have an idea!!!" I dragged him to his feet and all the way upstairs to his room.

"Play nice!" Shigure yelled as we passed by. I locked the door to Kyou's room and threw him on the floor. 

"I have a plan!"

"What are you talking about!?" Kyou stood back up and started stampeding towards me with his fists clenched. Geez, calm down already. Rain sure does put Kyou in a bad mood!

"Yuki and Tohru!! If we got them together… you know… love-love, Yuki would be out of your hair for a while!"

"Out of… my hair?"

"Yeah, you know… Too busy with Tohru to mess with you!"

"Feh, they already spend a lot of time together. That doesn't stop him."

"What are you talking about?!?!? Love-love is waaay different from just being friends!! It means dating ALL the time, go EVERYWHERE together, loads of snogging and whatnot."

Kyou knocked the side of my head with his fist. "Are you stupid?!? They ARE together all the time, and she CAN'T snog him!!"

"Nani?" @_@

"WE'RE CURSED, IDIOT!!! WE CAN'T BE SNOGGED!!!"

"Well, you don't have to get feisty about it. Still, having a lover is different than friendship. You just haven't experienced it yet. You'll know one day."

"Kya, I don't think I want to have a lover if it takes too much time. Kagura is enough of a pain without being my lover."

"That isn't nice! I bet if I asked Momiji he'd be more than excited to help execute my plan."

"Hah! Well I'm not that brat! So you can go find him for help." He pushed me aside and headed for the door.

"KYOU!" I leaped and jumped on his back, pulling at his orange hair. "Help meeeee, please!!!" 

"LET GO!! KITA!!!!!"

"Not Until You Agree To Help!!" I bit his ear and pulled harder on his hair. He will never be able to resist my wrath!! Fwuhahahahahahahhaha!! 

"FINE! Just let me go!"

Hah, I knew it.

"Say you'll help me!"

"Alright, alright! I'll help you!"

"Say you will fulfill this mission to get Tohru and Yuki to fall in love."

"I will fulfill my mission!!!!"

"Say you'll go downstairs and make me some riceballs!"

"NO!"

"Be that way!" I let go of him and fell to the ground. "Now then, let's get started on this here mission. Operation Love-Love." I laughed and fell back, staring up at Kyou's ceiling. "This will also fulfill the Romance category I have on the story."

"You're pathtic."

_"Oui, monsieur."___

Kyou came and lay next to me, folding his arms beneath his head. "So, Captain Kita, what's our plan?"

"Eh… I'm not quite sure."

~*~

Kita: MY NAME IS HIRO, I AM FIFTY-ONE. SINCE 1980 LIFE HAS BEEN NO FUN. AND IIIIIII DON'T WANT TO DIE, I LEFT MY FAMILY FOR THE SECRETARY!!! *ah ah* *ah ah* *ah ah*

Kyou and Yuki: Shut Up!!!!! 

Kyou: Hiro hasn't even appeared in your story yet!!!

Yuki: Hiro isn't some 51 year old man leaving his family for the secretary!!! They have nothing in common but their name!

Kita: Hey, did you know the next verse goes: HER NAME IS YUKO, SHE IS 22. SHE AND MY DAUGHTER WERE BESTFRIENDS IN HIGH SCHOOL. Maybe *Yuko* is actually *Yuki* in disguise!! Girly version!

Yuki: I am NOT a 22 year old woman in love with a 51 year old Hiro!!! STOP YOUR HORRIBLE SINGING!!!

Tohru: I think Kita is singing nicely….

Shigure: You must be tone deaf ¬_¬

Kita: Hey, hey, hey, who is giving you a female who can huggle?!?!? *cracks whip*

Yuki: You could have given us a kinder someone.

Kyou: Shut up, rodent! You just want it to be Tohru!

Yuki: *blushes* Quiet, baka-neko!!! That's a lie!

Shigure: Now, now, what more do you need in your lives than two high school girls sharing a house with you??? ^_^ 3

Kita: This chapter was nice and sweet with nice morals and all coming from the Ritsu thing. Yesh, every story should have a lesson in it. Weeelll, I must start on the next chapter, so I hope you enjoyed reviewing… erm, *reading* my story! ^___^ *hops away singing the chorus to Hiro's Song [by Ben Folds]* I DON'T WANNA GROW OLD. WON'T YOU LET ME, WON'T YOU LET ME EXPLODE *oooooo* IN A KARAOKE SUPERNOVA!! 


	6. Sweet Transvestite

**Kita's Invasion**

**Disclaimer: I have just been informed that whatever I do not own belongs to my younger sister. [Okay, not really, that's just her ignorance when I borrowed a pair of her fuzzy slippers. Don't kill me!!] Yada yada yada… I don't own anything… okay, on with the story, I really must get on wi—**

Zabet [younger sister Elizabeth. Get it? Eli**_ZABET_h? Haha, anyways]: Excuse me, Kita, but everything DOES belong to me!!! *takes fuzzy slippers* FWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA**

Kita: I think not! *sends out mad copyright people to attack Zabet* Bwuhahahaha, the older sister prevails once again! 

Zabet: I will… seek… revenge… *falls over with fuzzy slippers in hand*

Kita: Alright! On with my fandomosity! But before I begin, I would just like to say-

Zabet [still on ground… twitching a bit]: Stop typing blahness just to fill up space and get on with it already!

Kita: Shushies! I must talk to my readers/reviewers before I get on with it! Now, as I was saying… Zabet and I do NOT own anything we don't own. For instance, nearly everything. Also, if you haven't seen Rocky Horror Picture Show, go now and rent it. Why are you still here? Shoo. And don't forget to come back and read this. [Yesh, there is a reason why you need to see it]

~*~

"Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!" I broke free from Yuki, Tohru, and Kyou and ran towards Haru, who just so happened to be walking alongside Momiji to school. Yuki and Tohru were holding hands [AGAIN!!!]. Such blahness should not be allowed. But, it will prove to be useful in my plan that I have not yet planned out. What is this plan? Well, I will tell you!! Operation L-L!!! [Love-Love, for the dimwits out there]

"Did you get me my cheese wiz?" Haru held me back from a hug by putting his head on my forehead. "C'mon, where is it?"

*sigh* "Here it is. Take it… but keep it hidden." I slipped him the canister surreptitiously. "I can't let too many people see that, if you catch my drift." ^_~

"No, I don't think I do catch your drift…" Haru took the can with a questionable look on his face. "All right, what did you need help with?"

I glared at Momiji with wide eyes and jerked my head in his direction. "Not here. If you catch my drift."

"I do not catch your drift, so stop saying that! What the hell are you talking about?!?"

I hid my mouth from Momiji with my hand and whispered, "_Operation L-L…_"

"L-L??" Haru scratched the back of his head with confusion.

"LOVE-LOVE, MAN, LOVE-LOVE!!!" I grabbed the collar of his unbuttoned school jacket and pulled him closer to me. Grrr, he really is the stupid cow!

"Kita found love-love?" Tohru came bouncing next to us [with Yuki attached to her hand] with a giggly smile on. "Who is it, Kita? Did you find a lover??"

"NO! Ahahahahaha….. NO!! I was just… uh… I was just telling Haru how there was no love-love with Baca and me.. [refer to chapter 2 for idiot Baca]. I was just commenting on how he reminded me of the Blues Brothers with his nasty sideburns and sunglasses."

"Who are the Blues Brothers?" ^_______^ 

"Ah… erm… it isn't important! Let's get to class before we're late!!"

~*~

"Psst, Hana, c'mere." I hid behind the stairs near the bathrooms. "Is Uo with you?"

"Yes, is that a problem?" Hana's little hair stuck up from the top of her head and began searching my aura. "You're very secretive today."

"Yeah, what do you want, Kita? What are you up to?"

"It's umm… I want to… I am determined to begin a mission! Come here so we can talk in secret!!" Surprisingly, they both listened and crouched down near the ground with me. "I have this mission called Operation Love-Love. It's to finally get Yuki and Tohru to become lovers. What do you think?"

"I think… this is not a good idea. With Mr. Sohma having such a dark aura, I don't think I can allow Tohru to love such a person." Hana looked worriedly at Uo [who, at the moment, didn't know what to think] 

"Well, maybe we should leave them alone and see what happens." Uo scratched her head and stared at Hana. "I'm sure her mom wouldn't mind it if she had the prince as a lover."

"Uo, we're supposed to be looking after her!"

"Ahem," geez, these friends were freakily over protective, "I'm sure the dark aura bit is just a family trademark. You said they all had it, ne? Could it be some flaw in their magnetic energy and whatnot?"

Hana stared without blinking. Uo slapped her back and laughed. "Sure, I don't see a problem with it. What do we need to do?"

~*~

"Alright!" I slapped a yard stick against my hand to catch everyone's attention. We were meeting in Kyou's room. I had pulled the curtains and turned off the lights to keep the spooky mood. Fwuahaha. So mysterious am I! A small lamp was placed in the center of the room. Hana, Uo, Haru, and Kyou sat around it while I stood up and paced around the room. "Velcome to Operation Love-Love."

"Why are you speaking with a German accent?" Uo looked at me strangely as if I were a dweeb. Dweeb, hah! Well… okay… I am.

"No reason…" ¬_¬;;

"Why did I have to come if Momiji isn't here?" Haru looked around the room not seeing a single person crying, hopping around, or shrieking.

"He didn't exactly agree with the plan."

_~le flashback~_

"Momiji, I have a plan to get Yuki and Tohru to become lovers. Well, not exactly a plan, but I need your help in creating one. What do you think?"

"Why can't it be me and Tohru?!?!" He began whining until Kyou came up and hit his head. Then he began whining about Kyou.

_~le fin~_

"Anyways! The failure to recruit one member into this mission is not reason to back out, sooo, on with the planning!"

"You still haven't made a plan?"  Kyou sighed and ran his hand through his hair. Alright mister, so I don't have a plan, that's no excuse to get an attitude with me!

"I'm not sure if this is a smart idea," Hana glanced around the room slowly. "They're all keeping secrets from us."

Uo clapped a hand on Hana's shoulder and began laughing. "Don't be so serious! They're only going to start dating, it's no vow of marriage!"

There was a knock on the door and Shigure's voice seeped in from the hallway. "Kyou, find Kita. Ritsu is here for a visit, so Tohru made a nice dinner. Hurry up so we can eat!"

"Feh, fine!" Kyou stood up and threw the curtains open. "I'm hungry, so we're going to do this later. Everyone, go home!"

Kyou and I left to meet Ritsu while everyone else scrambled out of Kyou's window. "Do you think we'll be able to finally pair Yuki and Tohru?" I grabbed onto the stair rail and walked ahead of Kyou. Before he could answer, my jaw dropped as I saw Ritsu and Shigure talking.

"RITSU?!? WHAT THE HELL?!?" Kyou face-faulted and ran ahead of me, standing in front of Ritsu with a dropped jaw.

"Ritsu! Are you alright?" I ran towards him… at least I'm pretty sure it was him. In front of me was a Ritsu garbed up in nothing but a red bustier, black satin undies, and fishnet stockings and gauntlets. His hair was tied back so the black feather boa could better be seen around his neck. "What are you dressed up as??"

"I'm getting ready to go see The Rocky Horror Picture Show downtown. It's a double feature tonight. Would any of you like to go with me?"

"Yes, so instead I tried the *other* bag of fertilizer!" Yuki explained to Tohru as they walked into the room. After turning his head away from Tohru, Yuki stopped dead in his tracks and pointed a finger at Ritsu. "What… What *IS* that thing?!?!"

"Hello! I called earlier and Shigure said Tohru and Kita would be able to help with my makeup. Is that alright?"

"Eh? Makeup?" I looked at Tohru to see her reaction, but it was totally different than the nervy spaz look I had imagined. She had both hands clapped together under her chin and was staring at Ritsu wide-eyed.

"I Love Your Boa!!" Tohru left Yuki's side and glomped onto Ritsu's arm. "Where did you buy it?!?"

"Ayame's store!" ^_^ Ritsu and Tohru left for the sitting room to talk more about makeup styles they should try. 

"That… was erm… interesting." I shifted my eyes towards Yuki and Kyou to find them frozen in place, jaws ready to hit the floor. ;;.  .;;

"The snake sold THAT?!?" Yuki began trembling with fury. *tremble tremble* Hmm, it WAS a pretty boa, and I wouldn't mind the bustier. What was I saying?!? "FIND AYAME AND SKIN HIM ALIVE!!!!"

"Don't blame Ayame!!" I grabbed Yuki's arm and dragged him to the table where Tohru and Ritsu were at. I had to execute Operation L-L… and FAST. I have no clue how much longer I'll be writing this story.

Kyou and Shigure came walking in. Shigure didn't look flustered one bit. He had one of his kawaii smiles on and was humming. 

"Ritsu, did Ayame say if he was coming?" ^_^ Shigure sat down next to me. WAH!!?! WHAT WAS ON MY KNEE!!!?!? I sneaked a peek and saw Shigure's hand on my knee!!! AI!!!

"He should be here later tonight. Are you going with us?"

"Of course!" His fingers kind of squeezed my kneecap. It tickled!! STOOOOP!!! I tried my hardest not to laugh.

"Kita, are you okay?" Kyou was staring at my face weirdly. What was it? Did *I* have a feather boa on?? NO! So why was he now staring at me like I was a freak?

"YYYYEEEESSS!!" . [---- face of holding back laughter] Oh, that's right. Maybe that face was freaking him out.

"Who else wants to go?" Shigure loosened his fingers from my knee and began inching up my skirt. NO!! NAUGHTY SHIGURE!! BAD BOY!!!

"I Do!" Tohru chirped up happily.

"So Does Yuki!!" I shouted, slamming my hand on the table. I had to start Operation L-L somewhere!! Plus, I could go too. Tons of guys dressed up in corsets with too much makeup on… Yeah, sounded fun enough. "I'll go too."

Shigure glanced at Kyou for a second then turned back to Ritsu. "Well, I guess that's settled. After dinner we'll put everyone in costume and makeup. So, what's for dinner?"

"I WANT TO GO!" Kyou crossed his arms and stared at the wall as if he hadn't said anything. He glared at me for a second as if it were MY fault and then went back to his lovely little wall.

KYA!!! Shigure had reached the hem of my skirt!!! I put on a cheesy smile and shoved my hand under the table. I found his wrist and pinched it as hard as I could. Muhahahaha.

"Itai! Kita, that was so mean!" Shigure pulled his hand from under the table and examined his red wrist. "I think you need to be punished!" ^_^

Before I could come back with a clever [yet witty] retort, the sliding door slid open and there was Ayame, with Hatori at his side. [bum bum BUM!]

"Ooh! Aya!" ^_^

Yuki stood up from his seat and ran towards Ayame, scissors in hand. "DIE!! TOHRU, TRANSFORM HIM, WE'RE HAVING SNAKE FOR DINNER!!!" There was no reply. "Tohru?"

Now that Shigure's hand was off me, I finally realized Tohru wasn't there any more. Neither was Ritsu.

"Where is Ritsu? I thought he would be here by now." Hatori glanced around the room, then at Shigure accusingly. "Go find him."

Shigure looked at us sneakily. "You heard the man, everyone up and find him!" Reluctantly Kyou, Yuki and I stood up and made our way upstairs. 

First we checked Kyou's room. The feather boa was there.

"What was he doing in my room!?!?!?"

I picked up the boa and examined it carefully. "This truly is a mystery!" With my authoress magic wand, I zapped on a Sherlock Holmes outfit. "Follow me, gentlemen!" I held up the large magnifying glass and studied the ground. "Ah ha!"

"What is it?" Yuki bent near me to look at a blue ribbon I had found wedged between the floorboards. 

"It looks like Tohru's hair tie," Kyou murmured. "Do you think they're okay?"

"I bet that snake has something to do with this!" Yuki got up to storm out of the room, but I lassoed him with the feather boa. 

"We're not going anywhere until we figure this out!" If I had a whip, I would crack it. Obey me, my slaves! I stood up and dusted my knees off. "Now, let's go to the next room." Which would be Yuki's room. I doubted if we would find another clue, but I thought it was worth a try anyways.

We tiptoed to Yuki's room, careful to not make a sound in case the criminal who had ripped off Tohru's ribbon and Ritsu's boa was still present. 

"Psst, Kita, look at this." Kyou pointed at a button on the ground. "Do you think this is anything?"

"That looks like the buttons on Tohru's sweater," Yuki whispered as if not realizing he was speaking.

Kyou looked at him weirdly. "How did you know that?"

"I'm an observant person, unlike you, baka neko."

"Okay, okay, be quiet." I pocketed the button and tiptoed across the room. Yuki's closet was wedged open. I reached out my hand to open it.

"Kita!! NOOOOO!!!" In slow motion, yesh, slow motion in a story, Yuki tried to close the closet before Kyou and I could see inside.

"YOU FREAK!" Kyou shoved Yuki to the ground as soon as I had opened the closet. Inside were TONS of photographs of Tohru. There were unlit candles on the ground, surrounded by girls' underwear.

"Uhh…" O_O;; I shut the closet quickly. "Next room…"

We tiptoed to Tohru's and my room. Before we opened the door, I could hear sounds from inside. "The culprit must be in here!" I creaked the door open just enough for Yuki, Kyou and me to peek a look inside. What we saw was a very, very disturbing site.

Ritsu, in his Rocky Horror Picture Show costume, had a topless Tohru clinging onto him. She had her legs wrapped around him and her hands pulling at his hair. Ritsu's hands [on the other hand] were up Tohru's skirt.

"TOUCH-A TOUCH-A TOUCH-A TOUCH ME, I WANNA BE DI-I-IRTY!! Thrill me, Chill me, Fulfill me! Creature of the night!" Tohru screamed out as Ritsu bit her shoulder.

"Creature of the night," Ritsu moaned into Tohru's skin.

Yuki whispered in disbelief, "Creature of the night?"

I nodded solemnly and answered, "Yes, creature of the night."

"Creature of the night…" Kyou said stunned.

Behind us, I heard a giggle. When we all turned to see who it was, Ayame stood there. "Creature of the night."

Back inside the room, Ritsu had moved Tohru against the wall. "Creature of the night."

"Creature of the night!" Tohru exclaimed as Ritsu grinded her against the wall.

Kita: *presses pause on the special authoress remote* In case nobody noticed, I stole that straight from the movie. If you haven't seen it… Go now and rent it. After reading and reviewing this. It's a very good… Disturbing movie. *presses play*

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!?" Yuki swung open the door.

Operation L-L was officially cancelled…

"Yuki!" Tohru hid behind Ritsu and looked over his shoulder. 

"Aya, what's going on up there? Did you find them?" Shigure was coming up from behind us. "Why are you two on the ground?" He stared at Kyou and me a while before lifting his head to inside the room. "Ritsu?" Shigure opened the door wider to see Yuki standing in a very fatal position, almost ready to pop. "Tohru?" He noted the topless Tohru and hid a smile.

"Shi! They're finally learning from us!" 

~*~

Hatori finally had dragged Yuki out of the room and left Tohru to change. The rest of us went downstairs. After all that was over with, Tohru and I helped all the boys with their makeup.

"How did I turn out to be Riff Raff?!?" Yuki looked down at his nasty outfit and held on to the nappy wig. "Why couldn't I be someone else?"

"You look cute!" Tohru exclaimed. ^_^ She fluffed her huge curly wig. "I think we're a good couple for Magenta and Riff Raff."

"At least you aren't Brad." Kyou crossed his arms and faced away from me. I was Janet… wearing the cute little pink dress she wore at the beginning of the movie. Everyone else, Ayame, Ritsu and Shigure were dressed up as transvestites. 

"Where's Hatori?" But I had spoken too soon. The door creaked open and Hatori walked out in a little golden speedo. "Rocky!!!"

-///-;; [---- blushing/sweat drop]

Haru and Momiji, out of no where, walked in dressed up. Haru was drenched in black leather with a cut across his forehead. Momiji… with his hair dyed red… wore a sequin outfit with purple tights and tap shoes.

"Eddie and Columbia!!" I squealed with delight as we all piled into the car and headed towards the theater.

In the car I sat with Kyou, Haru, and Momiji. We all had to pack in like sardines to fit everyone. "Psst, Kyou, do you think Operation L-L is off?"

"Damn it, Janet, I don't know." Hah, a bit of the Rocky Horror humor.

"What do you think, Haru?"

"I get to keep the cheese wiz, right?"

"Yes, you get to keep the cheese wiz…"

"Then yeah, it's off. You said you saw them.. ermm.. having fun together?" Haru opened up the canister of cheese wiz and sprayed some on his finger. He licked it off and continued. "Maybe it's for the best if Tohru and Ritsu are together."

"What are you talking about, slow cow! The whole plan was to get Yuki off my back!!" Kyou smacked the back of Haru's head.

"What are you all talking about? Tohru shouldn't be with a rat!!" Momiji began whining and clinging onto my sleeve.

"Momiji, don't cry, you'll smear your makeup."

"We're here!" Shigure opened the car door and stretched his back.

Outside the theatre sign read: **Tonight's Double Feature- Young Frankenstein**

"Ayame. Why did you tell us The Rocky Horror Picture Show was playing tonight." Hatori's threatening voice sounded throughout the car.

"Whoops, my mistake!" ^_^

~*~ 

Kita: Aloha, my darling readers/reviewers! How are you all doing? No, shush, tell me in a review! Bwuhahaha. I could become a lawyer with my persuasion skills. You know, I received a very interesting review from Hikari Rioki. They said some yada yada that I absolutely loved reading, then said an interesting bit about ME being paired up with someone. Unfortunate to say, probably not. I am gamophobic, sad enough. [well, according to my cousin when we played 'Don't Be A Dork' during the winter holidays] 

Yuki, Kyou, Haru: We're saved!!!

Kita: Not so fast, I might go psycho on you and fall madly in love with you! [okay, so I already have…] 

Momiji: I want to be paired with Tohru!!! ;___;  (Ritsu… that lucky bastard)

Kita: NO! This is my story, we do as I write! *yanks on chains attached to everyone's ankles* You know who I can't wait to write about?? AKITO!!! I don't know how I might bring him into the story yet, but I promise the day WILL come.

Yuki: No!! You evil woman!!

Kita: Quiet! *waves magical authoress wand and buttons Yuki's mouth shut* I know this chapter might bring on the flames, but I don't care. [as long as I get them] But please remember to use correct punctuation and spelling. It makes reading it a LOT easier. And don't blame Ritsu for any of this… he's just a sweet transvestite! ^_^


End file.
